I'm starting a fire
Throwing everything on
Feed the flames ever higher
Burn it 'till it's all gone
The shed is all rotten
All the fruit has gone green
I've got the worst allotment
Anyone's ever seen
Call “Ground Force”
CHORUS
I'm digging a grave
For the last potato of my intentions
There's nothing to save
From the onion of my gardening dreams
I'm digging a grave
The earth here is barren
Nothing will ever grow
The weeds have taken it over
And they've asked me to go
The tomatoes are sour
All the apples are bad
They say that I'm the worst gardener
That this town ever had
Titchmarsh help me!
CHORUS
I'm digging a grave
For the marrow of the bones of my marrow (Marrow)
I'm no more a slave
To the fingers of perennial green (Titchmarsh)
I'm digging a grave
CHORUS
I'm digging a grave
For the last potato of my intentions (the King Edward is dead)
There's nothing to save
From the onion of my gardening dreams (no shed, no tears)
I'm digging a grave