Starting from The Bathroom
To the Master Bedroom
Ballroom East, then The Hall
And Halfway Up The East Wall
Nomen Luni and The Bridge
Cold Store is a giant fridge
High Up On The Battlements
The Attic bug just made no sense
The Drive and The Security Guard
The Nightmare Room was always hard
Rescue Esmerelda fair
Entrance To Hades, don't go there!
Out On A Limb, stay alive
On A Branch Over The Drive
Back Stairway, Tool Shed
Eight lives and then you're dead!
CHORUS
I've been playing with my Willy since I was ten
My best friend showed me how to do it way back then
You can call it rude or childish or even silly
But this is how to play with your Willy
On The Roof I see The Yacht
West of Kitchen getting hot
Stuck Inside The Megatrunk
The Forgotten Abbey, psycho monks
West Wing Roof in easy reach
Tree Top, Tree Root, hit The Beach
First Landing and Swimming Pool
Up the Priests' Hole, that's not cool
Conservatory Roof is fine
East Wall Base, begin your climb
Emergency Generator
West Bedroom, I'll see you later
To The Kitchens Main Stairway
The Chapel is no place to play
Feeling way out of your league?
We Must Perform A Quirkfleeg!
CHORUS
I've been playing with my Willy since I was ten
And I still enjoy a quiet fiddle now and then
Whether it's a lovely day, or really quite chilly
There's always time to play with your Willy
Top Landing and Ballroom West
Under The Drive and Cuckoo's Nest
The Kitchen and A Bit Of Tree
Under The Roof and Orangery
The Bow, West Wing, and The Front Door
I'm Sure I've Seen This Before
On Top Of The House, Back Door
Banyan Tree and, yes, there's more
At The Foot Of The Megatree
The Wine Cellar's the place for me
Under The Megatree, such gloom
There's sun Above The West Bedroom
The Off Licence for a crate of piss
Dr Jones Will Never Believe This
See this world from the Watch Tower
It's Matthew Smith's finest hour
CHORUS
I've been playing with my Willy since I was ten
It's the one thing that I like to do again and again
Boy, or girl, or in-between, it's such a thrilly
Everyone should play with their Willy
CHORUS
I've been playing with my Willy since I was ten
My best friend showed me how to do it way back then
You can call it rude or childish or even silly
But this is how to play with your Willy
Everyone should play with their Willy