Hey Mr Sainsbury, hey Mr Morrison
Hey Mr Tesco, listen here
This nativity, your festivity's
Getting earlier every year
You have only just sold us halloween
Will you stop the marketing?
Drowned in christmas shite, almost every night
Starting from the summer holidays
It's still third quarter, really think you oughta
Kindly stop the marketing
You're selling us a pack of lies
Sparkly jumpers and mince pies
Credit card bills and resentful kids
Granny gets racist when she's pissed
CHORUS
Bugger all the adverts, bugger all the ads
Bugger all the bloody ads, bugger all the ads
Bugger all the adverts, bugger all the ads
Bugger all the bloody ads, bugger all the ads
Wish there was a war on christmas
Christ, another ad! That was really bad!
Will this torment never end?
Countless seconds of vomitous sentiment
Made to make you cry, then spend
Leave us all alone and just stop
Stop the bloody marketing!
REPEAT CHORUS
Wanna start a war on Christmas
Credit card bills and resentful kids
Granny gets racist when she's pissed
You're selling us a pack of lies
With these dreams you advertise
Gonna start a war on Christmas