House meeting! House meeting, everybody!
There's something that I need to say
That bastard who did sociology
Went and snuffed it the other day
Oh, wow, Vyv, that's like, really heavy!
Mike's cool has been lost now, I fear
If I may, Michael, I'll say just a few words
'bout that knob-end who used to live here
CHORUS
Who said you could die, you bastard?!
Come back here, you bogey-bum!
We'll fill up our Y-fronts with custard
We've not yet finished having fun
I'll set both your knackers on fire
Play chess all night without the rules
I'll give you a mensh on my next progr
And sing along Hey Hey, Bad News
So we've taken out Nicholas Parsons
With a plan that's as hot as your pants
We've screwed over Piers Fletcher-Dervish
And missed the bus to Redditch (bogey-crap!)
One last supper from Neptune's Pantry
Or a banquet of twelve boiled eggs
No more will we call you a virgin (I am not a virgin!)
No more will we miss both your legs
Who said you could die, you bastard?!
Come back here, you bogey-bum!
We'll fill up our Y-fronts with custard
We've not yet finished having fun
We'll swallow your marvellous medicine
And learn just how to be a sod
You're oh so much bigger than Hitler
And considerably better than God
When they ask, “why are the kids crying?”
Say that the People's Poet is dead!
Kevin's back behind the green door
The last pill has finished off Fred
B'stard now can't get an election
Lord Flashheart has run out of juice
Richard Richard's love doll has deflated (bollocks!)
And Sir Dangerous has lit the last fuse
Are you Colin or his twin brother Trevor?
Mr Bass Man, what is your name?
There'll be no more crocodile snogging
Playing bass is no longer your game
We'll get cornflakes disease and make mud pie
And smear dog poo all over the chair
I think Droitwich should you build you a statue
Flicking V's in Victoria Square
CHORUS
Who said you could die, you bastard?!
Come back here, you bogey-bum!
We'll fill up our Y-fronts with custard
We've not yet finished having fun
I'll set both your knackers on fire
Play chess all night without the rules (attack! attack!)
I'll give you a mensh on my next progr
And sing along Hey Hey, Bad News
CHORUS
So we'll all have a round of Monopoly
And smash friends on the head with the bank
We'll down us a quick pint of absinthe
And have a commemorative wank
With a big girly kiss on the bottom
And a violent poke in the eye
To you, you complete utter bastard
We say: “phwurr”, “woof!”, “alright mate”, “goodbye”