What better way to mark the arrival of our 10th anniversary than by crafting an overblown, self-indulgent, self-referencing load of self-aggrandising noise? Well, loads of better ways, probably, to be honest …
It’s said the only certainties in life are death and taxes, but what about sickness, suffering, solitude, and the fact that your favourite show will always be cancelled while “Mrs Brown’s Boys” gets another shitting series?
Are we there, yet? We’re bored, tired, and the only thing keeping us from leaping out is the fact that we’re travelling at 117mph. Well, that and the bloody child locks are on. I swear, if this isn’t over soon, words will be had. Rude ones.
Are you lonesome tonight? Are restrictions too tight? Is the lockdown just driving you mad? Have you stuffed yourself full? Bored right out of your skull? Have you lost whatever grip that you had? Don’t worry. You’re not alone.
Look, we know that we’ve been away for a few months, but we’ve got a REALLY good excuse and, while we are loathe to play the organ failure card, we do have to say: ORGAN FAILURE. Unexpected, moderately inconvenient, dropped-out-of-the-sky organ failure.
They are often referred to as the “thin blue line”, although many have implied over the years that the line might in fact be somewhat thicker. Not us, of course … we’d never stoop to making such a crass insinuation.
It is often said that Christmas is a time for peace on Earth, and goodwill to all, but it seems that neither the year itself (or a substantial number of people living in it) have actually gotten that message.
Hey, kids! Stop snogging, and pay attention to me! ‘Cause if you’re a wild-eyed loner standing at the gates of oblivion, then hitch a ride with us … this really IS the last freedom moped out of Nowhere City. Don’t tell your parents!
We’d like to take the opportunity whilst announcing our brand new song to reassure our friends and relatives that this song is not, in ANY way, about you … unless, of course, you don’t share it, in which case it is TOTALLY about you.
Journey with us to a decade of flared trousers, energy crises, and cocaine abuse as we bring you our very first song; “Disco Bitch”, the tale of a dancer with a serious attitude problem and a callous disregard for nightclub etiquette.
Ah, love … it brings out the poet in us all. Or, in our case, it brings out the sarcastic, piss-taking sods. Welcome to our new E.P, a collection of songs guaranteed to induce looks of deep concern when you use them as the soundtrack to your next candlelit dinner.
It has often been said that French is the language of love … not being experts we couldn’t possibly comment, but there is one thing we do know for certain; the language of love songs is clearly psychopathy.
After 10 months of writing, rehearsing, and filling our knickers with whiff gas we finally return triumphant from our first gig in London. Yes, #RikCon2016 is over, we rocked the capital (or at least gave it a gentle shake), and we’ve got video to prove it!
It’s February 14th again, and you know what that means? That’s right! All over the world people are consumed with love … and ideologically-driven murderous bigotry masquerading as love. Happy Valentine’s Day!
They say the best way to preserve an artist’s creative integrity and drive is to keep them hungry, but there’s actually a far more important reason why we shouldn’t ever be allowed to come into any money.